January 22, 2002

Headline: Vancouverites Panic as Strange White Substance Descends!

Having lived a few years in the Canadian Shield, I have experienced winters that people from warmer climes can simply not appreciate. I remember wearing my snowsuit to school bursting at the seams from 4 layers of wool tucked underneath. Our school looked like a junior terrorist camp, with everyone wearing balaclavas and ski goggles to prevent the -40° C temeratures from freezing our heads off.

That was back in the late 70's when my family made a home in Northern Ontario during our seemingly never-ending journey across Canada, following my father's rise in the Pulp and Paper industry. Coming from coastal BC, just north of Vancouver, I had never experienced the incredible deep-freeze that happens throughout most of Canada during the winter season. The snow would come every year around Hallowe'en and stay sometimes until May, where it would cling to shaded curbs like scruffy collars. Most years it would get so deep, you had to excavate your car if, on the odd chance, the roads had been cleared.

After a few more moves, we found out way back to Vancouver, a city that experiences much more rain than snow. Every year produces 1 or 2 days of snowfall, amounting to nothing more than a thin layer of white that is usually gone by mid-day.

With each snowfall, the panic sets in. Drivers who are normally confident and wise on the road are reduced to fear-stricken bug-eyed zombies, white-knuckling the steering wheel and slamming on the brakes for even the tinyest patch of slush.

Today, my normal 15 minute commute took almost an hour as a 6 block stretch of Willingdon Avenue was slammed with cars whose drivers were so panicked by the snow, they likely lost a few years off their life just looking at it.

If you are scared to drive in the snow, take the bus. If you want to learn how to drive in the snow, move to Northern Ontario.